Just some me, yakking

             Do you ever find yourself trying to be your best self, yet, constantly thinking “ahhh I missed something.” For me these days are way worse than others. It is often hard for my brain to stay on track from one moment to the next. Well, I have been trying to be a better me for a while, but have to constantly start over. However, at the end of October I went to my doctor and when I saw the weight on the scale I looked to make sure it was only me on the scale. “AHHHH! What happened!” I can tell you that some of it was do to a bit of “woah is me” and some of it was “oh, well” and other parts of me were obliviously happy that I just didn’t care. My husband, Brian always builds me up, so part of me was just content to be me. I didn’t really physically feel that I had put on so much weight as I am constantly registering on the pain scale, somewhere near miserable. Yet, I was getting to be a bit snug in my clothes. Anyway, I had a wake up call about then that God was not done with me yet. I had been ready for God to say, “Okay, come on home you have suffered enough.” Well, being as I am not a ghost writing this, I figured I better ask GOD what I needed to do. As, HE Is Not DONE with me yet. Often, we get caught up in “I don’t sin as bad as so and so” or “at least I am not committing such and such sin.” Last time I checked the Bible it said to pull the plank out of your eye, before to point the splinter out in somebody else’s (paraphrased). Well, that is when I started praying and asking God to help me to be more in His image and mindset, especially when it came to food and snacks aka, what I put into my body.

         I remember my whole childhood, watching my Grandma struggle with her weight, we would walk to the oldies with her, or do the home exercise videos, and eat the diet of the month or what have you. However, as hindsight is 20/20, I know there is no magic cure, especially ones that don’t have ridiculous side effects. While I was in Jr. and High school I stayed active and decently healthy, I remember trying to fit or wanting to fit in my friends size 0-1 pants HA! That was and will never happen, even if I were just bones, they will not fit into a 0-1 sized pant. I did track, shot put and discus, power lifting and other things. I remember at my smallest squeezing into a size 9 pants that were my friend’s baggy pants, (that was kind of the style then). Ladies at church would ask me if I was anorexic, classmates would ask if I needed an intervention. No, I was just working out a lot and burning off all the calories I ate. Going, going, going. I had a couple of horrible accidents that kept me from doing the athletics any longer so I had to stop. When I went to college I did aerobics but that didn’t help much, if any. I was bogged down with how to get all the information in my head in order to pass.

        My here and now self has been tired and pushing through the pain to again be what I need to be. This time I am trying to stay Christ focused in my healthier me endeavors. I am trying to be less sedentary regardless of how I feel. There are still days that I cannot physically do it, on those days I must show myself grace. I have to do for me what Christ does, show Grace. God doesn’t expect perfection He desires for us to allow Him to perfect us. He is really good at His job too! I know that because I would have already hit the smite button a million times on just me alone. Whatever you are allowing God to work on you, show yourself a little grace. Ask God questions, He is big enough to handle our questions and unbelief, He is also faithful and just, so give Him time to answer. Do not confuse God with a magic Genie 🧞‍♂️  as He is not one, for that I am oh so glad.

He is not done with you yet!

If you are lonely and single- pray about it

If you are childless- pray about it

If you are a drunk, on drugs, an atheist or someone who doesn’t believe in Christ pray about it!

Whatever He is telling you to work on, PRAY!

In all things, give it to God- trust that He knows what is best, even if it isn’t what you wanted or how you thought your story would go.

TRUST IN THE LORD WITH ALL YOUR HEART, AND DO NOT RELY ON YOUR OWN UNDERSTANDING; THINK ABOUT HIM IN ALL YOUR WAYS, AND HE WILL GUIDE YOU ON THE RIGHT PATH- Prov. 3:5-6

Man, that fit right in with what I was talking about, God is good like that. He put that on my heart the perfect verse. Notice how the Bible doesn’t say with some of your heart…… it says WITH ALL YOUR HEART! Whew! That can be hard to do, but do it. HE WILL Guide you….. Not, He will leave you to flounder around on your own. So, be careful to remember that, God is always with us. Are you allowing Him to guide you or are you taking Him to places you wouldn’t even take your Mom or Grandma? 

What a mighty God we serve! He sees past all, ALL my failures and loves me still. If, you didn’t know, the cat is out of the bag! I am not perfect! But I am trying to be perfected.

If there is a way I can pray for you, as you journey through this life let me know and I will pray with and for you (always pray for yourself too).

May God Bless,

Christiy