God’s blessings

 I will do my BRP in a minute further down

        Have you ever had a moment where you hear someone’s story, or testimony and thought to yourself how are they able to receive God’s blessing or why does God answer their prayers and not my own? Well, first off the only person we should compare ourselves to is that of the Trinity, Jesus. Secondly, we can’t see the big picture of what God has in store for us. Yes, we know the end of the overall story, God wins. Have you ever realized what life would be like if Jesus had been the same way? Yes, Jesus asked questions of God the Father, because He had a relationship with Him and God is big enough to handle any question we might have. Jesus, also went about it in the proper way, through prayer. Everything Jesus did was to set an example for us. Well, today when I was listening to someone’s testimony about the healing of her son she said God chose to heal Him through prayer, He also may heal through modern medicine or He may heal through calling the person home.

      I went to do my BRP and was led to look at something else first that of Isaiah 53:5-6. I want to breakdown this scripture a bit and want to not just skim over it. (Go and read the verses now, I read the NIV and HCSB) Also, used Miriam Webster’s Dictionary and Thesaurus.

He was pierced for our transgressions (crime, offense, sin, violations, felony, trespass, wrongdoing, misdeed, error, breach, debt, lawbreaking, malefaction, and the list goes on)  Yowza that is a list! 

We often want to put thing in less than to greater than type of sin. Ex. In my eyes stealing a piece of candy, knowing it is wrong, is worse than murder. However, God has His standards, His plumb line, and all sin is equal. Anything that separates us from God is sin. So, when you see transgressions in this verse know that it in capsules all SIN. Yikes, so I am as evil as a murderer? Yes.

He was crushed (visualize this) for our iniquities (Corruption, evil, sinfulness, depravity, wickedness, vileness, ill, badness etc.) Yowza, again. 

Crushed- almost beyond recognition, I find myself so unworthy. Iniquities- to be described as any of these words might make you feel unworthy too. The price that God paid through Jesus, I find myself wanting, needing to be more like Christ. 

The punishment that brought us peace (tranquility, rest)

It is mind blowing to think that Jesus had to endure all this in order for us to have peace. I again, do not feel worthy of such a high priced gift.

By His wounds we are healed (repaired, mended)

WOW! What an amazing, un-repayable gift. We are healed, from sins curse! Does that mean you will never have trials like cancer, No. However we know we won’t be alone here on Earth as we suffer. Even if we don’t receive healing in this mortal body, we know that God has a healed immortal body for us.

We have all like sheep gone astray (off the path, in error) turned to our own way.

I definitely am guilty of this.

The Lord laid on Him the iniquities of us all (every single person’s sin was paid in full by Christ Jesus, even though some will refuse His gift)

    DO you see here why we should be ever grateful of the gifts God has for us? The great price that was paid for us?

This is why it has been so important for me to get my house (myself in order). Christ did not pay the costly wage of my sin so that I could just Willy-nilly live my life how I want, I must look at the plumb line that God has set before me, in every aspect of my life, starting with the inner me. So, I encourage you to do the same. Be a believer in Christ, not just by words but by doing his will.

BRP is 30th 1Peter 2: 24-25 and 31st 1Peter 3:1-2

    The verses at the end of chapter 2 tie in with the things I said above. “He Himself bore our sins, in His body on the tree, so that we might die to sins and live for righteousness;  by His wounds we are healed. For you were like sheep going astray, but now you have returned to the Shepherd and Overseer of your souls.

    The verses 3:1-2,

    We are to submit to Christ male and female; husbands and wives. We are to submit to God, a husband who is in right standing with God will be a devoted man who submits to God will and guides with a loving  hand. However, a woman should submit to God so that even if her husband is lost she will be a witness unto her husband. She can by her witness and submission win him over without  her words, but by her deeds and behavior.

    Submit to God! All else will fall in to place God is good.  

Do as I do (Jesus)

 BRP 1 Pet 2:22-23

22) He committed no sin, and no deceit was found in His mouth. 23) When they hurled their insults at Him, He did not retaliate, when He suffered, He made no threats. Instead, He entrusted Himself to Him who judges justly. (NIV)

WOW, the perfect example of do as I do! I am not sure I would have been silent. Thus it reminds me of Peter, they came to take Jesus away and he was like “over my dead body”, (as he pulled out His sword) and chopped the soldiers ear off. Jesus, is like woah, woah, woah “this is not the way” (as He puts the soldiers ear miraculously back on). {This whole section is definitely paraphrased} 

We want to go in all guns blazing, even if we have never fired a gun before. See Peter is so relatable here. He sees the most unjust thing to ever happen on Earth, and wants to do something about it. He goes on to deny Christ 3 times publicly, and he is a common ordinary man- a husband and a fisherman. However, we know he was a fisherman first, then God called Him as a disciple and missionary. We can relate here in the south to fishing, I do catch and release mostly as I do not care for eating fish.  See there are points to grasp from ole Peter in correlation to this book and these particular verses, when he wrote this it was after the death/resurrection of Christ. Think of it too as he, Peter, severally messed up and this is what He gleaned/learned from it. He isn’t using hypothetical situations he is telling of what he experienced, the things he now knows he should have been doing all along. Doing as Christ did. You see the commonalities we have with Peter? He was a plain ole Joe, from the working class, he wanted to do what was right though he didn’t always go God’s route about it, he denied Christ as we do in one form or another- even more than once. But listen here! GOD IS NOT DONE WITH YOU YET!!!! You might rebel you might get frustrated and mad, YET, GOD IS NOT DONE WITH YOU YET! He meets us where we are, even if we make stupid choices, say stupid things (I should substitute ignorant with stupid as my nephew is having to work on not saying stupid). Regardless, of where you are- whether you feel unworthy -not good enough -or that you have slipped to far Just say to yourself or aloud GOD IS NOT DONE WITH ME YET!!! He doesn’t expect perfection He expects us to be willing, willing to change and grow, which means dear child, to be pruned and disciplined and and these come through pain and trials.

Stay ever close to God so that you to can be commended, you can stand strong in Him. Remember He is with you and working all things to His GLORY, for those that are called according to His purpose.

Privileged to suffer

 BRP 1Pet 2:21

       I do not know about  you, but I have rarely thought, said or prayed “Thank you God for my suffering.” Yet, here Peter we were called to suffer, Christ gave us His example of how to suffer and exalt God at the same time. The commentary in my (NIV- Study Bible- fully revised by Zondervan- 1984) states that we should count it a privilege. Yowza, a privilege ?!?!?! That seems a big ask, doesn’t it? He wants us to “patiently endure as it is a part of God’s plan, Christ suffered for us- thusly we should instead of seeing and feeling it as misery, count it privilege” (NIV)

     I think one time in my life did I ever during my misery, exalt God. I wouldn’t have even realized I had done it except someone commented on it. I was in the ER with kidney stones, the first time, I was miserable and in a lot of pain. She commented something along the lines of “how I kept God in my mind and singing to Him through my pain.” I knew that in that moment I was doing things the right way, but I didn’t realize, as I have had to rely on GOD’S strength to get me through a lot already. Now, I know I have made many poor choices and not exalted God in all things, yet I do know He has made beauty out of my many messes. I have had trials that were not a punishment, but a chance to rely on God and grow ever closer to Him. There have been trials that had me frustrated and mad at God, and you know what I found out, GOD IS BIG ENOUGH, He handled my failings, He met me when I was done being a brat thinking it wasn’t fair, He was able to take my burden and remove it when I was no longer able to carry it. You see that is one of the many reasons I love God the Father. He meets us where we are, when we cry out to Him, we might not see it during the storm/trial, although we can feel Him, when the storm is over and we reflect on it we can see how God’s hand guided and protected up through it.

Here is some of the things I went through whether by choice or a God given trial:

Mental abuse

Sexual abuse, as a child by adult(s) -around people others knew were abusers.

Torture- as a child by peers

Spanked- for telling the truth

Several auto accidents, never my fault

Fear of STD/AIDS (I didn’t end up having either, but scary still)

Rebellion- ran way from home, drugs- marijana, drinking hard liquor, wine coolers all underage drinking. Smoking underage, sexually promiscuous underage- I felt it was all I was good for, adultery, 

Miscarriages 

Lack of motherhood 

Loss of potential adopted children, 3 days before I could legally fight for them.

House broken into

Loss of my dogs, one got out when the house was broke into, he got run over. Another 2 dog were ran over at different times several years apart. Another died from some strange mass in the back of her throat.  

Divorce

betrayal- my best friend dating my recent ex. I dated a guy who an acquaintance had dated.

Friends and family killed before their time- in my way of thinking 

And more but that is all I will put for now, the point is this, stuff happens. Our question is will we foolishly rely on our self  or will we trust God. Regardless of the storm, we have to choose who we will serve, who we will rely on. Only Trust Him only trust HIM!

Close and commendable

 BRP 1 Pet. 2: 19-20

Have your ever prayed for patience? God has a way of helping us to learn patience, through trials that require us to do just that…have patience. Often we will feel it is a daunting task that we regret praying for. Not because we don’t want to honor God with our learning of patience, but because it can be extremely difficult to grow closer to God in this way. He wants our trust, wants us to depend upon Him. Yet we are weak and unable to do a lot on our own.

In these verses He wants to remind us to ever be close to Him. That way we can stand strong during the trials, tribulations in this world, as well as learn to cling to Him during those times. The reason why God wants us to rely on Him, is because we can do a lot of things in our own strengths just as the lost do. Yet, when we cling to and exalt our Savior through the trials beyond our human strength, He gets the glory and we are commended by Him and our relationship is closer to Him. Even in our punishments of life we still can cling to Him, (I think of my dad saying, “This is going to hurt me more than you.”) He knows what is best for us and what will shape us into His image. He never said that molding us would be easy, but He did say He was with us though. So, when it is time for you to receive your “spiritual spankings,” for your wrong doings cling to Him. When you are in a season getting beat, whether literally or by the storms of life, know that God is with You. That is why we are to pray without ceasing, to have time with Him daily, and spend time in the Holy Word of God. Allow Him an active place in your life.

Remember that of Job. If you haven’t read his story or haven’t in a while go and read it. Then, think back to what I just said.

God, loves you and longs for the relationship with you that brings Him honor and glory.

 BRP 1 Peter 2: 18

This verse as an American is troubling to me, it says that slaves should submit with fear to their masters, not just the good masters but to cruel masters too.

I have seen documentaries and heard tales from people that were African American slaves. Some have stated how the “white masters” would quote and with misrepresentation use the Bible’s verses dealing with slavery. The African Americans were severely mistreated, beaten, raped, torn from their families and who knows what all other kinds of humiliation and troubles they dealt with. We know from History class they were murdered, had their homes, and churches burned. Even after slavery was abolished they still dealt with a lot, and were not treated as equals to the whites. There are some places still that are very cruel to minorities.

Can you imagine having to submit and standby and/or serving a master that had murdered your child or spouse? I can’t! I have had a couple of unfair bosses in my day, but none compare with what these slaves dealt with. When we read the word of God there is a reason for all words spoken or given. Even if the words we read are hard to swallow, it is our duty to understand the reasoning, the context and outcome. You see when we face trials and have to submit we are in good company as the Lord, Jesus submitted to the authorities of the day, which in the end made for His death upon the cruel cross. Now, He submitted even though He could have called legions of angels to His rescue, or had God take it all away and curse us all to Hell. Yet, he humbled Himself as a servant, His captors and killers didn’t know the end of the story and how God would ultimately WIN. We know the rest of the story, death did not keep Jesus, He conquered death and came alive again. We never know either how God will use our trials to bring Him honor and glory. So, whatever you are facing remember God is with you in all things.

Respect to all/freedom and more me

 BRP is from 1 Peter 2: 16-17

    When we here free a lot of times we are like, “WOO HOO!” “I can do whatever I want, when I want and how I want! YES!” But! Rewind… wait… stop! Before you go having those woohoo thoughts and moments there are things that need to be considered. Our freedom ends, where someone else’s begins. A professor of mine Mary Lewis, demonstrating this in our class and quite frankly shocked the room. She stood in front of a very tall, muscular basketball player and stated “Your freedom ends, where someone else’s begins” as she made the statement she seemed as if she was going to hit that basketball player right in his face, she stopped very close to his nose. Though we were shocked, it drove the point home, I still remember it today and that was 20+ years ago. Our freedom has boundaries, our freedom has consequences, our freedom is a gift.

    We are all grins and giggles about being free, which to a certain extent is great. We should, to a point, rejoice in our freedom as they came at heavy costs. Maybe not to you specifically, but freedom is not free, it has/had a cost. Jesus lost His life, and was beaten- nearly beyond recognition- so that we can be free from our sin. Does that mean that we should take the gift of Freedom, that He gave us and hide behind it our “secret” sin or our un-confessed sin? No! God wants us to live lives above reproach. He does not want for us to hide behind the cross our short comings. I guarantee someone already knows the sin, or it will come out. I can also tell you God does not sit on His throne with a smite button to strike you down each and every time you or I fall. He has love and understanding, grace and mercy, because the price that His Son Jesus paid was very costly.

    We are called to be servants of God. Which means we must show the proper respect that is due. That means to EVERYONE, not just our mom and dad, He says to EVERYONE. I can tell you from experience that this can be very hard. I know for those who love me, it has been very hard and at times very costly. (I will explain more about that in a second). We must respect everyone our siblings in Christ, our fellow believers. We are called to fear God, yes, fear Him, reverent, formidable and yet reassuring fear. GOD is Love and therefore He Loves Jealousy. As a husband loves His wife. As a mother loves her children. He longs to keep us near and protected, but He allows us free will to choose. Now we must decide what we will do with our Freedom. Live to grow closer to God and honor Him with our words deeds and actions or turn from Him.

Okay, here is something about me.

    I have been on this Earth for more than a couple decades. Yet, I am just now seeing me. Not the me I hope to portray, but the real me. I mentioned a moment ago that it is/has been hard for people that love me to love me. That is because I shut down or run. I find that my whole life has been this way, I just didn’t see or recognize it completely. I was fine living in my own little world as a kid, or retreating inside myself. I was not big on playing with kids my age, most of the time. I was generally okay when it was just me and my siblings (I have cousins that to me are like siblings, I truly have two sisters and I am the middle), However, other children and extended family were often harder for me. For some reason when there is a group of children they will pair off, whether by age, gender and or commonalities of some sort. When it came to this, I remember either choosing not to group and being picked on or not being picked by a person(s) to pair or group with and being picked on. I think I was in Junior High before I found people that I liked to hang out with, but that didn’t last long as they wanted more and different types of friends where I was content with what and who we were. Anyway, I am a horse of a different color, I generally was one to do what I wanted and hangout or run with who I wanted. 

[Back story: I was abused as a child, by adult(s) and curious with peers, that crossed lines that children should not cross. I honestly can handle, mentally, the curiousness of peers, but not adults, as they know better. Anyway, I won’t get into anymore detail about that currently. However, one other note, there was pornography available at our finger tips, mostly in tons of magazines in the wash house but also “professionals” on video tape.]

    Anyway, I think that due to a lot of my back story and being extremely sick as a child, made me the horse of a different color as I had to survive in the world I was raised in. This was my normal so I had to adapt, I also have a lot of autistic tendencies too. Especially, tactile items and textures and crowds- I tend to sit on the sidelines or miss events that have them. When I go to my Dad’s side of the family’s reunion, I am the opposite I just keep moving and talking and going to each group to say hello, that’s what my dad has always molded for me to do there, so I guess that is why I still do it. Although, I didn’t go to last years as I knew I did not have enough energy to go, go, go. 

    All that to say, I am unique, I am every learning myself and allowing for change. I am still not a hugger, nor do I think that will change. I am trying to be molded by God and in His image. NO< I AM NOT> PERFECT. I mess up daily. But, I am learning me and how God can use me. When things get tough I have been a runner, but I am trying to remember to RUN TO GOD. I retreat inside my shell, but I am trying to RETREAT TO GOD. He understands me more than anyone on this Earth ever could. He has allowed me to have a husband that truly tries to understand me, who doesn’t raise his voice or hands at me. I know that not everyone likes that my husband and I are together and some have reason not to like it. I know that God can make beauty out of our messes and grow us where we are as we are. We are trying to do that. Any way I am grateful that Brian loves, respects, honors and has compassion for me. He listens even when there are no words spoken, he just knows….. which is mind boggling to me. If God can use a donkey He can use me, He can use Brian our worts, flaws and all.

Seek not to be Perfect but Perfected by God.

Free, yet

 The weekend BRP are from 1 Pet 2: (11-12), (13-14 ), & (15).

I have been taking a break from technology for the most part, except to jot here in my blog. That is why I didn’t write here on Saturday, I did do the reading just didn’t type up the reflection or thoughts that came to mind. Till today.

    Before I start, I will begin with we joined a different church, yesterday. We have been visiting for over a year, it is where my Aunt needs to be, so we decided we should grow where we are planted, and currently God has us planted at NCBC. Now, before you ask, no, my Aunt is not the only reason we joined, but it did weigh in. Anyway, if you are not an active member, of your local Christian Church, getting spiritually fed, I recommend you pray about it. If you have never been to church before, visit and/or call the church. Even, if you have to leave a message on a machine or voicemail. When you listen to the message or when they call you back ask these 3 questions or see if these 3 questions were answered 

    Number 1- Do you preach about Jesus, and how he died and rose for my sin?

    Number 2- Do you support missionaries?

    Number 3- Will I be welcome? (Don’t describe yourself, or anything about you, simply ask and listen to               the answer).

    Now you may wonder why these 3 questions here is why:

    Number 1- All things in the Holy Bible, Old Testament or New Testament point to Jesus, His Death and His rising from the dead to pay for our sin. If they answer anything differently then hang up, that is not where God wants you. If they say yes to all parts then go to question 2

    Number 2- If they yes ask them how they support missionaries. They should list at least one local mission and at least one foreign mission. If they say No. Then hang up as they are not following scripture. This is not where God wants you. If they say yes and list a local and foreign mission that they help then go to question 3

    Number 3- If they ask any questions at all, even, “why do you ask?” Hang up, or if they say anything besides yes, absolutely……. Let me tell you why they should say Yes, because Jesus said “come unto me.”  He Himself dined and interacted with all sorts of people, meeting them where they were and where they are. You do not have to be “perfect” to attend church. The church is essentially a hospital, in the since that we all need help from “Dr. Jesus”.

    Remember, Jesus is the one who calls people to Himself, so if you have called, listened to the greeting on a voicemail, talked to a preacher or someone who answered the phone at church, or even googled the church and they meet all these questions. BE THERE ON SUNDAY MORNING OR WEDNESDAY NIGHT FOR SERVICE (SUNDAY SCHOOL). God is probably calling you!

Now to tell you what was laid on my heart, besides those three questions.

    Living a good life, is not according to worldly standards, but to God’s standards. He is wanting us to live our lives away from sinful desires. What specific sinful desires do you think He means? ALL Sinful desires, as sin separates from God. We can’t fully know what God has in store for us if any sinfulness separates us. Now that is not saying that you can lose your salvation, it is saying that you cannot know, nor fully grasp all that God has in store for you, nor can you grow exponentially with sinfulness ruling you. We are to live good lives so that we can be a witness, and our good deeds will bring glory to the Father to further help the lost. Then, when God calls a lost sheep or a lost soul to Himself, we can rejoice and be ready to welcome a new sibling in Christ, or one returning from wandering.

    Free.We are free! In Christ we are free. Yet, God tells us to respect the authority of those in power over us. In America, that is President, Vice- President and all the politicians that were elected to power. Regardless of whether or not we agree with them 100% or 0%. It does not matter as God has them in places of power over you. They are there in places of power because God wanted a judicial system to keep checks and balances over the people of Earth. 

    We are to do good so it will silence the fools. The Bible says that the tongue is sharper than a double edge sword. So, be careful and mindful of what you say with it, it can bring death. The saying “Sticks and Stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me,” is wrong. Our very mouth can shut the ears of the lost, there by ensuring their condemnation to Hell. I don’t know about you, but I would hate to be the person who is responsible for a lost person, going to Hell, ever separated from God the Father. I honestly can’t tell you if I have already condemned people there by my words, or by my actions. I won’t know till I stand and answer for all the deeds I have done. All I know is I have to do better, the lost need me to do better.

    Think about you, and your relationship with God. Will you hear Him say, “Well Done! My Good and Faithful servant” or “depart for I never knew you.”  Now, before you get to gloomy remember as long as you have breath in your lungs and a beat in your chest, GOD IS NOT DONE WITH YOU! You still have a way to God, Repent. You still have a way to God, Trust. You still have a way to God, JESUS!

Go find the Light that is Jesus. Then, go and tell others about Him, who is the light.

Chosen- received mercy

 BRP 1Peter 2:10

      Again, I am floored that when I look at the Bible verse by verse, and contextually. I am humbled and amazed. I can say that even verse by verse taking God’s word to heart, it does not always seem to make sense nor apply to me. However, God did not call me to have perfect knowledge of all that is said in the Bible. He does ask me to be faithful in reading the Word, having daily time with Him and to tell others about Him and His saving Grace. I am not perfect at any of the things that God asks of me or desires from me, but I am trying to be better at them. I am nowhere near perfection, simply a sinner saved by grace.

    Today’s verse is kind of self explanatory, but I feel it is great to reflect on. We as sinners were a lost people, going nowhere quick, all we did was in vain and self-derived. We were bound for the hot place, and I don’t mean Texas or Arizona, but Hell. We did not see, nor did we care to see where the path we were on was straight to Hell. We were content to roll around in our sin filled ways, often without a care in the world. Wide is the pathway to Hell and narrow the way to Heaven. We were staying off satan’s radar on that wide path of seemingly perfect bliss. It wasn’t until we realized that God was calling us to a higher purpose that we saw just how far we had fallen. I know for myself I was ashamed of my old self, every time I fall or slip below God’s standards I am too. I know that I am unworthy to be before Him yet, He wants me. I have a list of sin that could make a sailor blush, but my identity is not in my many faults, they’re in my redeemer Christ the Lord. He washed me and cleansed me, no matter how many people wish He would smite me off the face of the planet. I have wished He would smite me too, But GOD in His infinite wisdom is not done with me…. I am not sure why, but He isn’t. I long to be forgiven by everyone I have hurt whether knowingly or unknowingly. I wish I could ask each and everyone for their forgiveness, yet, I know that the apologies would fall either on deaf ears or on ears that have moved on. I have found that, most of the time when I am tripped up on my misgivings’ that I am the only one who’s ever been affected by the deed(s) and others have moved on. I am an over thinker though, and I want to seek forgiveness. Yet, how cruel and selfish would it be for me to ask forgiveness from someone who could careless, or has made strides to heal from any and all damage I have done. So, I leave my hurts and longings for forgiveness in the hands of the Father. I am trying to listen intently to what God would have me to do in regards to being forgiven, as of now I am trying daily to be right with Him and allow Him to direct me. IF you are reading this and need an apology from me, please know I am probably beside myself wondering how to make things better or I am oblivious to the fact that I have wronged you. Feel free to private message me on Facebook, if we need to discuss a wrong I have done, and allow me the opportunity to seek forgiveness.

    If you have wronged someone be in prayer for how to go about fixing the situation. If you have been wronged do the same, someone might not be aware that they have offended you, be in prayer. Remember, this life is hard for everyone, even Jesus had a rough go whilst here on Earth. Try and show grace and even mercy to others. Forgive as God has forgiven you, even if it is hard. I know for a fact that forgiveness is hard to do, even when they’ve been a monster to you. Also, be careful of collateral damage, example, if I have hurt you don’t take it out on my sisters, parents, family or friends. Tomorrow is not promised, but eternity is. Where will you go, who will be there too, whether you like it or not. So, do all you can to forgive. Lay your burden’s at the feet of Jesus, and know that He will guide you. Show grace and Mercy to one another as He has given you.

An heir, Chosen

 BRP 1 Pet. 2:9 & bonus reading today in Dan. 1:1-21

    Hey, I am tired and a bit cloudy mentally, but I will share today, just my thoughts. First the BRP thoughts. Have you ever really sat down and thought about whom you belong; not as a slave who has no free will, but as a free child of GOD. A royal son or daughter? Not an underling, a prized heir- a son or daughter! We are to inherit from our Heavenly Father, who chooses to share His riches and glory with us. CHOSEN, a Royal priesthood, a Holy nation! WOW!!!! I am not sure if I would want me if I were God. He has forgiven me time and again and I am so not worthy. Yet, He in His infinite wisdom knew and knows every fault and sin I have or will ever have. He could hit the smite button and say I am done with you, but He hasn’t. For the simple reason He is not done with me yet. We get to proclaim His praises, because He is the ONE who called me/you out of darkness, and into His marvelous light. WOW! 

    When you are singing at church or at home are you proclaiming? Do you think about the words that come out of your mouth, do they ever cause you to tear up? I try to be intentional about what I am singing/proclaiming, though sometimes I do run in auto pilot. When I catch myself doing this I try and close my eyes and think about the words, and then truly proclaim them. The song popping in my head now is Tis so sweet to trust in Jesus. I sometimes think, if I proclaimed the words of songs as loud as I sing them God might use the words to bless another. 

    Let me share the words of a song that always overwhelms my soul, in a good way. Read each and every word especially if you listen to the singers Philips, Craig, and Dean sing it. Then savor each word.

Your Grace Still Amazes Me

My faithful father
Enduring friend
Your tender mercy is like a river with no end
It overwhelms me
Covers my sin
Each time I come into your presence
I stand in wonder once again

Your grace still amazes me
Your love is still a mystery
Each day I fall on my knees
'Cause your grace still amazes me
Your grace still amazes me

Oh, patient savior
You make me whole
You are the author and the healer of my soul
What can I give you?
Lord, what can I say?
I know there's no way to repay you
Only to offer you my praise

Your grace still amazes me
Your love is still a mystery
Each day I fall on my knees
'Cause your grace still amazes me
Your grace still amazes me

It's deeper, it's wider
It's stronger, it's higher
It's deeper, it's wider (it's deeper, it's wider)
It's stronger, it's higher (it's stronger, it's higher)
Than anything my eyes can see

Your grace still amazes me
Your love is still a mystery
Each day I fall on my knees
'Cause your grace still amazes me
Your grace still amazes me

    Most often when I perform this song, I do it in ASL, sign language. I will tell you why. 1. I generally blubber if I try to sing the song as it impacts me so, being a daughter of the most High, baffles me to tears. And 2. Praising God by shutting my mouth and praising Him in song with my hands. I am generally honored that God, in spite of me and all the wrongs that I have done, Chose me, Chooses me, Loves me and shows me His Amazing Grace and Mercy daily.

If you have a song that bless you to your very core share it with me, I am not sure if blogger will allow you to do it anonymously, but know I won’t bug you about it. I just want to see if I have heard it and listen to it, regardless if I know it. Here is another one you should listen to, Just as I am, listen to the words and pray them back to God.

Walking or Stumbling

BRP 1 Peter 2:7-8

 Cornerstone- 1. A stone forming a part of a corner or angle in a wall specifically: such a stone laid at a formal ceremony 

2. A basic element: Foundation

Capstone- 1. A coping stone : coping. 2. The high point : crowning achievement.

A cornerstone is the base, our foundation which all other stones refer to for perfect alignment. Where as the capstone is the final stone to be added. Think of a pyramid, the point at the top. The capstone can also be referred to as the keystone that keeps the rocks together, think of a rock arch. 

I just like to have definitions handy whilst reflecting on the word of God so that I might grasp the full intent or meaning behind the verses. Biblical scholars debate the exact interpretation of these words and the context. However, it is essentially are you being used by God according to His purpose, or are you be tripped up on the nuisances that allow you to stumble.

At the end of the day you need to know 1. There is the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit. 2. We were created by God (the trinity) 3. We fell short of God’s glory and now have a sin nature that separates us from God 4. We could not atone for our sins without blood sacrifices, so God sent His Son, Jesus to live a perfect life, so that He could be our perfect sacrificial blood offering. 5. He died 6. He rose again 3 days later allowing us a path to God the Father. That is the heart, the meat of the Holy Bible, everything in the Old Testament points to Christ and so does the New Testament. All other aspects of the Bible are generally revealed by having a personal relationship with God. This is why time in prayer, scripture reading, fellowship with believers and being active in church are so important. So, if you are reading this and you do not know God and Jesus as your personal Lord and Savior ask questions. If you know that you are ready to follow Christ it is as easy as ABC….. 

A. Admit that you are a sinner- Romans 3:23, 

B. Believe that Christ died for you- Acts 16:31 

C. Confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and be saved- Romans 10:9-10  

What do you thirst for?

 Today’s BRP is 1 Pet 2:6

        “On Christ the Solid Rock I stand, all other ground is sinking sand” do you remember that song? Or the kids song “He’s still working on me, to make me what I ought to be. Took Him just a week to make the moon and stars, the Sun and the Earth, and Jupiter and Mars. Oh how lucky for me, cause He’s still working on Me” Well, is He? Are you allowing Him to work on you? Is your foundation that of Christ? 

    I can tell on myself that that is not always the case for me, as trust is hard. You want to please and strive fervently to do so, only to not be appreciated or loved and undervalued. When we look through the world’s glasses and what it expects of us it is not the same as what you would see through God’s glasses, metaphorically of course, and what He expects of us. Why do we see someone or something and think that is what we want or what we you strive for cars, trucks, money, fashion in a style that makes each of us drool, the animals/pets, house(s), and the lifestyle. Now personalize the worldly things you want, they don’t have to be listed; how do your wants and desires line up with what God has for you? Are they? Now ask yourself what are the Godly things that you want and desire? Being the Proverbs 31 wife, being like Moses, Daniel, Ruth, wearing your armor, being the hands and feet of God. How are you matching up? Who do you relate to in the Bible? Are you indeed truly seeking to be as Christ?

Thirst and living stones

 BRP: 1 Peter 2:2-3 and 2:4-5

* Yesterday, I went to Church and at Sunday School we discussed 1 Peter 2:2-3, well more than that, but Sunday was my day away from here. That is not to say I didn’t learn or reflect on scripture, I just didn’t reflect it here Yesterday. 

        My husband and I have been visiting a church locally for around a year. We are members of another church in town, but we needed a different, more laid back church for my great aunt. We take her to church on the days that Brian is off. Here I go down a small rabbit hole….. I believe that you should grow where you are planted…. Generally, I am very adamant about this. However, I have been in a funk, you ever find yourselves in a funk? Not the I don’t believe in God funk but, more like the I don’t get it, don’t understand it, and the blahs overall. Often, times this life on Earth will cause trials, troubles and confusion. I guess I have been a bit of a pouty childish brat. Just going through the motions. Now, I know that God is an understanding God, He understands that we are human and fallible. We have wander through desert like moments and we also have moments on the mountain tops, where we can just embrace His Grace and Beauty while on the highs of life. So, know that wherever you are God sees you. He still longs for a relationship with YOU. Not one of the magic genies type relationships where we only speak to God when we want something but, He wants the relationship of an Amazing Father to His child(ren). One we speak with daily, One we tell and share everything with, One who comforts us and wipes our tears. One who disciplines his children out of love. The Prodigal Son- made foolish choices and slept with stinky pigs, yet when the son finally saw that his own way wasn’t working and went home…. The FATHER ran. He ran! To the stinky stubborn brat (which we can all relate too, can’t we) anyway… the son realized he could always go home. The father was waiting and watching for his beloved son to come home. Can you imagine your Heavenly Father running to you? Picking up your stinky self? Celebrating your return home? Well, I have been in the place of that prodigal. Down to the very bottom of the stank barrel. Well, I can tell you I still don’t understand how God can receive glory through those trials or hurts, but I am trying to get back on track with where He wants and needs me. Growing where I am planted. I have needed and been craving pure spiritual milk. Wanting to be close to Him and doing as He wants. 

     Back to I believe you should grow where you are planted. I understand that you might not be where you want to be, but are you growing there, or choosing to pout. We need to grow, and take in nutrients from God’s Holy word. In Sunday School and Church especially where you are, even if you aren’t a member there. However, pray and consider that might be where God wants you, not just being fed, but to also serve others. In whatever capacity you are able. Reaching out to others, being the hands and feet of God, praying for the lost and needs of your fellow believers. God has called us to be like is He is, He sees us as valuable, living stones, to build….. to build His spiritual house through Jesus. We really need to search who, what, when, where and why, we need to be in Christ. Be in prayer and be as God wants you.

I guess I will stop rambling now. Might do better phrasing tomorrow.

Called to rid yourself

Hey! Today, I am going to write the whole verse out, BRP 1 Peter 2:1 NIV

Therefore, rid yourselves of all malice and deceit, hypocrisy, envy, and slander of every kind.

Miriam Webster definition of these words, then my reflection.

Malice- 1. desire to cause pain, injury, or distress another 2. Intent to commit an unlawful act or cause harm without legal justification or excuse

Deceit- 1. The act of causing someone to accept as true or valid what is false or invalid 2. An attempt or device to deceive- trick 3 the quality of being dishonest or misleading: the quality of being deceitful

Hypocrisy- 1. a feigning to be what one is not or to believe what one does not: behavior that contradicts what one claims to believe or feel 2. An act or instance of hypocrisy 

Envy- 1. Painful or resentful awareness of an advantage enjoyed by another joined with a desire to possess the same advantage 2. Malice 3. An object of envious notice or feeling

Slander- 1. the utterance of false charges or misrepresentations which defame and damage another’s reputation 2. A false and defamatory oral statement about a person 

Woah! Woah! Ouch! I am afraid to let y’all know that I am not perfect, and I have at one point or another been guilty of these and sometimes at first without thinking about it, premeditation like.

While I have been and probably am to some extent guilty by definition of these, I truly am striving to be different. I know that over the course of my life I have let other down and hurt them, whether intentionally or not the damage is done. I am not sure if you are or have done any of these specifically, but I do know that each and everyone of us is a sinner. Does that mean I am trying to point the finger back at another absolutely not. Yet, when we are reading or trying to understand each other it is good to reflect on oneself and try not to judge to harshly. 

Why do we continue to fall short, to slip up? Well, I know that our sin nature is a big part of it, yet it isn’t the only reason.

Right now the big one, pun intended, is obesity—- hypocrisy. I as a believer truly think that The Holy Bible is 100% true. Well, if I look in the mirror and sometimes in the eyes of passerby, I see the reflection of an obese  woman. I have always been comfortable in my own skin, and generally do not care what others think of me. However, if I hold myself to the plum line of God, I am missing the mark. The seven deadly sins that are from the Bible Proverbs 6:16-19 pride, envy, gluttony, lust, anger, greed, and being slothful. This is not a full list, just a reference for the particular sin that God has me working on.

Since, the beginning of 2025 I have been working on better habits overall, not like a New Years’ resolution, but a lifestyle change and come to Jesus meeting. As I told you in a previous post I am kinda sick, due to that, I kinda without realizing it gave up. I had the mindset of why even care about your health just let yourself go and live your best lazy life while you are still here. Yet, here I am a couple years post being told I was sick. I do have days when it isn’t slothful-ness, I quite literally have migraines or can’t literally get out of bed. Yet, on the days I was able or felt decent I just vegged out. I felt that was acceptable. Well, in December I thought you can and should do better, as the obesity doesn’t help with movement nor over all health and worse than that it was dishonoring God. So, I started trying to make smaller food portions, I bought a food scale, I am logging what I eat, how much I eat, and caloric intake. Will I always weigh and count everything I do not know, but at least for now it is a start. On Wednesday, I downloaded a walking app called WALKFIT- I can use it in home, which is good for me sense right now I am not driving and it cost the same as a gym membership. I am striving to be someone who honors God in mind, body and spirit. So, far I am trying to keep my mind in a better attitude, my body healthier and being active in the word of God. It is a journey and I still mess up and my body is at times a hater, but as of today I have lost 20 lbs 4.4lbs was sense I downloaded the app on Wednesday. I hope that you are striving to do what God lays on your heart and if you slip up, try and try again.

Here today gone tomorrow

 Hey! Today’s BRP is 1Peter 1:24-25 

    Have you ever thought about how finite we are and how infinite God is comparatively. I do. In today’s verse he compares us to grass and flowers which wither and fall. This is so true of us; of God and His word, they remain FOREVER. 

        There are seasons in our life that are ever changing, there are so many examples of this. An example for my own life was my college journey. It definitely came in seasons, I was unable to commit to getting all my education at one time for various reasons, but those do not matter at this point. However, when one is striving to get their college degree there can be challenges and hurdles that arise. These issues can cause one to fill as if they will fail, or that it is taking the individual to long to achieve their end goal. Yet, when they accomplish the goal they are relieved, excited and happy. No longer does it seem as if the world is stacked against them. Often, after reaching a goal and looking back they might feel silly or wonder why at the time it felt like such a challenge or a flood they would never survive.

        Our mortal flesh as mankind is the same, we will one day come to and end. Yet, our deeds will remain, in the spiritual sense. Whether or not we are remembered centuries down the road is unlikely, but our spiritual selves will ever have a story and be known. Will your spiritual self have many if any crowns to lay at the feet of our Lord? If not, what can you do about it? If so, can you do more? Pray and ask God to show you areas that need to be improved, and areas that He wants you to cover. I myself have been challenged of recent to be more about God’s business and I am working on it in a couple different areas I will share with you later. For now it is getting quite late.

Change and Love

 Today’s BRP is 1 Peter 1:22-23 (just an fyi I know that I am not a theological master mind) these are just thoughts and reflections that I have as I study and try to apply God’s word)

             You have purified yourselves, by obeying the truth. A call to action! It does not say be lost in yourself, tv show, novel or games…. Purify yourselves and obey the truth. Then He states for you are born again, love one another deeply…. Again action!

              We have got to stay in the word in order to be purified. Purification is not something you can buy on Amazon and have immediately. You have to work at being purified. You have to work at humbling yourself to obedience. It makes me think of the oil/tar that can get on you and stick which is like sin. We can not just say oil be gone, or wipe it off. You must methodically work to remove it to be cleansed anew. If you follow direction you will have a better chance of that oil/tar/sin to be removed. Connecting this analogy with the call to action in verse 23, our brothers and sister can help us to be cleansed, to work together for a better chance of removing the oil/tar/sin from ourselves. We can also help them as they work to be clean. 

              In our actual life we have an instruction manual. We need to obey it. We are called  to purify ourselves through obedience, through change and change is not easy. We like being in our comfort zone and living in our comfy sin. Yet, we have to remember this life is not all about oneself it is about others. About God, Spouses, biological family and spiritual family and friends. If we do not purify ourselves we are selfish. In purifying obedience this we can see and meet the needs of others, oftentimes without foreknowledge that there is a need. What if we continue to sit on the sidelines while a brother or sister is at the end of their rope? I do not want to fail anymore of my family or friends by sitting idly whilst others around me are drowning.

            I know that I have not always done what I have needed nor been obedient to the cause of Christ. But I am working to change that. I know that in the past I have helped others, I also know I have failed others for that I will ever have a scar, and shame. I am sorry to all of you that I have let down or missed an opportunity to help. I am limited now in some ways that keep me from doing certain things, but obviously God is not done with me being here on Earth. SOOO, I am seeking to be continually cleansed, to see how I, though limited, can be the hands and feet of Jesus! I know I can pray, I know that I can encourage and I know I can continue to be purified and obey. I want to be able to love others as Christ has called me.

It might be difficult to do, for you too, just remember God meets us where we are, when we seek Him and when we trust Him!

Also, remember we are to LOVE DEEPLY, that means as Christ does. Not with piety, haughtiness nor begrudging others, just because someone’s sin and fault is different than yours, sin all sin of any kind separates from God. Show compassion, grace and love to others… not to their sin, but to them. We are doing the best we can, but we can and must do better. There are family, peers and lost that are counting on each and everyone of us. Pray and ask God to show you where you need to grow, where you need to change and how to love more deeply.

Faith and Hope

            Yesterday, I did a post which was playing catch up from the BRP (Bible Reading Plan). Today the BRP was 1Pet.1:20-21

            Faith and hope are in God: Do you ever stop to think about what, why and how we are here? The purpose? The abilities we are given, especially in being a child of God? I thought about these again today as I was reminded…. We are, because of God. We are here because He desires a relationship with us, and wants us to worship Him, not as slaves before an unjust and cruel master, but of a Just and Gracious  Loving Father. He knew that we would be a fallible group of beings, knowing too what it would cost Him. Even still He desires a relationship with us. He knew that we could never measure up or have the ability to save ourselves. 

          Just as a parent knows that in life their child will face challenges of many kinds, a parent has foresight to know bumpy days will be ahead. The parent also, learns to know their children and knows what works best for each child. Ex: My dad has said, “when it came to you girls (3 of us) your older sister I could ‘spank her or bonk her with a 2x4’ and she was still going to do what she wanted”. (No, he didn’t ever actually clock her with a 2x4). Dad would then of my younger sister say, “child, I am disappointed in you” or have a disappointed face and that would essentially shatter her to the core. The older child needed discipline, but she also needed to find her own way, granted it might’ve come with added struggles, and falls along the way, but as her dad he had to let her be herself to a certain extent. She is now a beautiful woman, with a family of her own. She learned from her dad things to do and not do, which allowed her to shape 3 amazing biological sons, and 2 amazing bonus sons. The younger daughter needed simply to see a disappointed parent’s face or to be verbally told that she had done something that displeased them in order to be corrected, then she would strive then to do better. She is now a beautiful woman of two beautiful children a girl and a boy. She too took away things to do and not do as a parent and is trying to raise her children to be their best selves. (I am not sure what parenting strategy he thought to use for me or what I needed, but for the most part I turned out alright). 

         However, hard my dad might try he couldn’t be a perfect dad, as he is human and makes human mistakes. Yet, this quote of my dad reminds me of our Heavenly Father, He perfectly knows if we are ‘2x4 kids, or a disappointed look on the face kids, etc.’ to know how we need to be corrected and grown as the best version of our selves. All of us girls needed our own style of discipline from our dad to know what was right or wrong and when he had to let us try no training wheels, being close by if we began to wobble or be afraid. Also, dad was there when the training wheels did come off and picking us up, wiping tears or dirt and helping us to try again. 

          God is the same, though He is the perfect parent, we are not perfect. Occasionally, the holes we fall in our holes we dug and fell in. God carefully watches over us but allows us to try it our own way. Or till we notice we are the one holding the shovel, shaking it at God and asking Him, WHY?!?!? Why we are in the hole, he must have put us in it. Eventually, we see our error, then we have to cling to Him to get out of the hole, He was always there a call/prayer away. Other times God has holes along our path that we must go through, to get to the other side growing us just as Joseph, the coat of many colors guy, he literally was in a hole and went through many trials because God ordained it in order for Joseph to not provide for his family, and to bring God glory. We try so hard to figure out the why of the situation instead of The Who of the situation, are we the one Who put us there, or Who do we need to cling to, Who we need to repent to, Who we are becoming through the trial(s) of life.

          Regardless of who you are you will have trials, never forget that God is always with you, whether you are in a hole of your own making or in one that He is trying to teach you in HE IS THERE. You will have trials it is only a matter of when. Also, remember that we are each different and God treats us as such. Just because your friends’ trials, through your eyes, do not compare to the severity of your own trial; try and remember God knows our inner most workings. He knows the ones of us that need the 2x4 and those that need the disappointed look. I am obviously a 2x4 person and I am like Jonah a runner. So wherever you are in your walk, God is there. If you are an unbeliever, God is there. God see us and meets us right where we are. Whatever you have done or are doing that is offending God, He still loves and wants you. There is not a power in this world or existence that can change that. If you feel unworthy or that you have sunk so far that God can’t love you or what love if you call out to Him….. Trust me my friend YOU ARE NOT THAT POWERFUL. Granted He will never make you choose Him, but like the prodigal son He wants you to come home regardless of how messed up you are. I am a child, a person who can attest to this truth, His Grace Still Amazes ME!

Hi, it’s me, I’m the problem

         Hello, it’s me again. I know you might be thinking I fell off the map, well you are right in many ways I did. My life is way different than when I first introduced myself, I could go and delete that blog, but it is who I was/am. Just as you can’t erase your past neither can I soooo. I will reintroduce myself now, I will not get into the big gap from my previous post till now today. However, I will probably share bits of that part of me along the way.

I am Christiy McCoy, I still live in the great state of Texas, I am married to my amazing husband Brian, we live under our roof together with our miniature poodle Bailey. Some important things to note… I am sick (with what doesn’t matter at this point, may share later down the road) what you do need to know is due to my illness it affects my hands, feet and memory, and I get really bad migraines, so if you see poor grammar or misspelled words please forgive me and show grace. I never knew I would come to love spell check and predictive text so much as now, pen and paper do not offer those benefits and I get frustrated- like the other day in church when I was taking notes and couldn’t remember how to spell a word, Brian wrote it for me so I could see how it was spelled. Oh well. I was very grateful for Brian helping me though, just frustrated. I can’t even remember what the word was, it was a simple one. I simply couldn’t remember how to spell, and I always loved spelling and kind of prided myself on the ability to do it well. I might have stunk in many subjects other than spelling. Though, I worked hard and on the struggle bus for quite awhile, till I found my studying methods and habits that worked for my unique brain, and learning disabilities. I ended up graduating with my bachelors degree in Early Childhood Education- Sigma Cum Laude (equivalent to A/B honor roll). Did I retake courses I took my first year of college while I found my study habits, yes, yes, I did. Did I during that time cry, in my Algebra courses’ professor’s office yes, yes, I did…. Sorry, Mrs. Ross, she never gave up on me… so neither did I during that season. Anyway that was a rabbit trail sorry y’all. 

Any way…. I am still on this journey. I am trying to be the woman that God wants me to be, y’all the Refiner’s fire is hard and hot and frustrating yet, I know the end result will be worth it.

Today in the Bible reading, 1 Peter 1-19, side: note these are from the Bible reading plan in Lifeway’s Sunday School material, also using my NIV Study Bible. Now, I won’t be plagiarizing. Here is my reflection:

I am a woman of unclean lips and so unworthy of God and His grace, which still amazes me. Yet, I am redeemed, by God through Jesus’ sacrifice. I feel so unworthy. Do I think I will or should be a perfect believer and child of God, yes, yes I do. However, I know that can not be accomplished on this side of Glory, but I know I must try or allow Him to mold me in His image. I again went down a bunny trail, but I think it is important for y’all to note that I am not perfect nor do I think I am, I am just like anyone else, trying….. so here is my notes. We “will have grief in all (ALL) kinds of trials…. To be proved genuine.” Ouch, I felt that! Proved genuine, I am soooo not matching up with this, I fail daily, I think of my past and all the many times I failed Him. It also, hurts because I know I am lacking, after all the many TRIALS I have been through, I still am not worthy. “As the dog returning to it vomit” gross! I fail, I fail, I fail, Yet God’s Amazing Grace says I am worthy of the price He paid for me. I also, feel the pain still of some of the trials I have faced. I in my own self and strength can’t understand why I had to endure those trials, or understand how those horrible trials would be used to bring Glory to God is beyond me. Yet, today when I read this verse I had teardrops, since I know I am still not as genuine as I need to be. We are also to remember Christ Himself suffered many trials even to the point of blood sweat, beatings, mockery, betrayal, disowned, alone, bled and died; just to name a few. To think He did that for me…. For me? For us. I can’t begin to thank Him enough for His everlasting redeeming grace. So, while I go through trials and you go through trials remember we are not alone. We also, need to evaluate ourselves and see if we are being genuine and holy, set apart. He set us free! This obviously doesn’t mean that we won’t continue to have trials, but that we can rest in knowing we are being prepared, to be ready for our day of completion, blessed and delivered. I know that is often easier said than done, but sing to Him, Pray to Him in whatever trial you might or are faced with ask Him for strength, ask Him how you and your trial(s) can be used to bring Him glory and help edify fellow believers and the lost.

• Christiy

• 3-11-2025

A new chapter begins

     Just putting this on here so you know that I know that my past is gone, which is why I didn’t delete the older blog posts. I am a different person than I was in many ways. I wouldn’t and couldn’t change my past because it brought me to now. I would either mess it up worse than I did it or worse things might happen to me.

Any way

Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, today is a gift from God that is why it is called the present (not my original quote)

So, journey on if you want to if not that’s okay too.

                                            -Christiy