BRP is from 1 Peter 2: 16-17
When we here free a lot of times we are like, “WOO HOO!” “I can do whatever I want, when I want and how I want! YES!” But! Rewind… wait… stop! Before you go having those woohoo thoughts and moments there are things that need to be considered. Our freedom ends, where someone else’s begins. A professor of mine Mary Lewis, demonstrating this in our class and quite frankly shocked the room. She stood in front of a very tall, muscular basketball player and stated “Your freedom ends, where someone else’s begins” as she made the statement she seemed as if she was going to hit that basketball player right in his face, she stopped very close to his nose. Though we were shocked, it drove the point home, I still remember it today and that was 20+ years ago. Our freedom has boundaries, our freedom has consequences, our freedom is a gift.
We are all grins and giggles about being free, which to a certain extent is great. We should, to a point, rejoice in our freedom as they came at heavy costs. Maybe not to you specifically, but freedom is not free, it has/had a cost. Jesus lost His life, and was beaten- nearly beyond recognition- so that we can be free from our sin. Does that mean that we should take the gift of Freedom, that He gave us and hide behind it our “secret” sin or our un-confessed sin? No! God wants us to live lives above reproach. He does not want for us to hide behind the cross our short comings. I guarantee someone already knows the sin, or it will come out. I can also tell you God does not sit on His throne with a smite button to strike you down each and every time you or I fall. He has love and understanding, grace and mercy, because the price that His Son Jesus paid was very costly.
We are called to be servants of God. Which means we must show the proper respect that is due. That means to EVERYONE, not just our mom and dad, He says to EVERYONE. I can tell you from experience that this can be very hard. I know for those who love me, it has been very hard and at times very costly. (I will explain more about that in a second). We must respect everyone our siblings in Christ, our fellow believers. We are called to fear God, yes, fear Him, reverent, formidable and yet reassuring fear. GOD is Love and therefore He Loves Jealousy. As a husband loves His wife. As a mother loves her children. He longs to keep us near and protected, but He allows us free will to choose. Now we must decide what we will do with our Freedom. Live to grow closer to God and honor Him with our words deeds and actions or turn from Him.
Okay, here is something about me.
I have been on this Earth for more than a couple decades. Yet, I am just now seeing me. Not the me I hope to portray, but the real me. I mentioned a moment ago that it is/has been hard for people that love me to love me. That is because I shut down or run. I find that my whole life has been this way, I just didn’t see or recognize it completely. I was fine living in my own little world as a kid, or retreating inside myself. I was not big on playing with kids my age, most of the time. I was generally okay when it was just me and my siblings (I have cousins that to me are like siblings, I truly have two sisters and I am the middle), However, other children and extended family were often harder for me. For some reason when there is a group of children they will pair off, whether by age, gender and or commonalities of some sort. When it came to this, I remember either choosing not to group and being picked on or not being picked by a person(s) to pair or group with and being picked on. I think I was in Junior High before I found people that I liked to hang out with, but that didn’t last long as they wanted more and different types of friends where I was content with what and who we were. Anyway, I am a horse of a different color, I generally was one to do what I wanted and hangout or run with who I wanted.
[Back story: I was abused as a child, by adult(s) and curious with peers, that crossed lines that children should not cross. I honestly can handle, mentally, the curiousness of peers, but not adults, as they know better. Anyway, I won’t get into anymore detail about that currently. However, one other note, there was pornography available at our finger tips, mostly in tons of magazines in the wash house but also “professionals” on video tape.]
Anyway, I think that due to a lot of my back story and being extremely sick as a child, made me the horse of a different color as I had to survive in the world I was raised in. This was my normal so I had to adapt, I also have a lot of autistic tendencies too. Especially, tactile items and textures and crowds- I tend to sit on the sidelines or miss events that have them. When I go to my Dad’s side of the family’s reunion, I am the opposite I just keep moving and talking and going to each group to say hello, that’s what my dad has always molded for me to do there, so I guess that is why I still do it. Although, I didn’t go to last years as I knew I did not have enough energy to go, go, go.
All that to say, I am unique, I am every learning myself and allowing for change. I am still not a hugger, nor do I think that will change. I am trying to be molded by God and in His image. NO< I AM NOT> PERFECT. I mess up daily. But, I am learning me and how God can use me. When things get tough I have been a runner, but I am trying to remember to RUN TO GOD. I retreat inside my shell, but I am trying to RETREAT TO GOD. He understands me more than anyone on this Earth ever could. He has allowed me to have a husband that truly tries to understand me, who doesn’t raise his voice or hands at me. I know that not everyone likes that my husband and I are together and some have reason not to like it. I know that God can make beauty out of our messes and grow us where we are as we are. We are trying to do that. Any way I am grateful that Brian loves, respects, honors and has compassion for me. He listens even when there are no words spoken, he just knows….. which is mind boggling to me. If God can use a donkey He can use me, He can use Brian our worts, flaws and all.
Seek not to be Perfect but Perfected by God.
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